Obedience....walking in God's shadows.

Breakthrough. Change. Humility. Passion. Willpower. Sacrifice. Obedience.

In the past few days, God has reached the depths of my soul more than I ever imagined. I had an incredible opportunity to be a man of strength to the youth around me in the ministry I volunteer as well as the other men adults who were alongside me in the journey during a recent purity retreat. God showed up. He not only showed up for those youth around us but He talked to ME. While we had an opportunity to do something bigger than ever, I chose to nail something that was my past to the cross which had been assembled moments into the afternoon. On the notecard were the words "my divorce." I knew this was going to be a moving opportunity because I do feel it defines who I am and what I have been through as a man of Christ, but I had no idea what it was going to hold when the leader chose to pull them off later in the day and burn them. I stood there watching him pull them from the cross and tossing them into the fire, watching them burn, knowing that redemption was God's reason for The Cross. Jesus paid it for me, for those youth, for our pasts, our faults, our shortcomings. I hadn't sobbed like this in a long time and God knew it. He was building for what was yet to come.

Sunday was a great day. I had the chance to see people after God's miracles came through during the retreat and share with them how powerful everything had been for the youth and the adults alike. God showed up. Again. In visiting with one of my great friends who is a pastor at our church, God spoke through him. I was asked how my 'phone call' went that week. I admitted I was waiting on the ample time to make that call. It was a sad excuse. Then I got the wonderful chance to share where God had been leading my life lately in His vision for me to go full-time into youth ministry mission work. He showed up again. At least 4 people chose to come visit with me and connect with me in one way or another in the ministry and help support me. On the way home from church, I had planned on washing the car, running on the elliptical and relaxing before a friends' child's birthday party. After that party, I got home and felt God telling me something I'll never forget. He said "this weekend I've been with you more than ever before, why are you holding back to make that phone call I am waiting on.....I am stronger here for you now more than you know." I knew it was time. I sent text messages to my prayer warrior team and started sobbing incredibly knowing that I had to do what God was calling me to do in obedience - not my will. I have never felt my heart throb and pound like this in who knows how long. God provided courage, comfort and prayer through my warrior team. I made that call He wanted me to make.

Now I know where God stands in my life. Obedient calling isn't just a 'feeling,' it's life. I am so thankful for the wonderful people I have in my life who I can depend upon and who want to see me succeed in God's vision for my life. Father, I deeply love who you are making me out to be - a man walking with YOU by my side.